13 Dec 2016

Momma


Today is a very special day for someone who means the world to me... my momma.
Not long ago I wrote this post about inspirational women, so I thought to mark my mum's birthday I'd write a special post that told the tale of her story.

I know that my mum has been through a lot in her life and this story will only show a tiny proportion of it. Not only has she had her own struggles, but she has always been there with me through mine. Even through the times that I've pushed her away, locked her out of my room or said you don't understand, she still tries to help me get through my problems.




This is my momma. She is my ultimate role model. She has and always will be.

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My mum was born and raised in India, during a time where society had traditional views. Growing up, she felt invisible to her parents because the attention either lied on her older sister or brother, who was the only son.

During her early teen years, she looked up to her dad, my granddad. He would always say to her:
"Don't look at things that have gone wrong or you don't have. Look at the things you do have and are your best qualities"
My granddad was the eldest of his siblings and as he was growing up, he had to take on the role of being the breadwinner for the family. He has always worked and still works just as hard today.

My mum also looked up to her grandma. Her grandma had a tough life. She had eight children, who she pretty much looked after all by herself since her husband was away working for months at a time. She herself would work to bring some income in to the family whilst he was away. My mum said that in that time it was unusual for a woman to be working but her grandma still did it anyways.

Although her role models were not educated greatly, mum was motivated and inspired by their actions. She focussed a lot on her studies at school and her favourite subject was maths.

She went to a convent school and they always taught students that after school there is college and then university and then you get a job. They basically taught them that this idea of studying was the social norm and my mum really wanted to go on to do all of those things.

There was a lesson at my mums school which was about giving back and helping people. She went around to different charities and schools to help autistic children, homeless people and those in poverty. This inspired her to want to help people in the future. This sounded really interesting and beneficial and I wish they would emphasise this in today's curriculum.

At college, my mum went on to study subjects that I would have never ever picked myself; psychology, sociology, logic, maths and science. She aspired to go on to university to either study law and become a lawyer or computing because the first Apple computers just came out at that time and my mum was fascinated by them.

However, her family did not allow her to apply to university because they had traditional values, meaning that it was actually the age for my mum to get married. At 18 years old, she met my dad. From that moment her family were preparing my mum for marriage by teaching her to cook, clean and take on the responsibilities of a housewife. She wasn't allowed to study and three years later she got married to my dad and moved to the UK.

At this point she was 21, with no law or computing degree, in an entirely new country away from her family. She felt like an outsider because she was mocked about her accent and was unfamiliar with the culture. She had a really tough time adjusting to the new environment which was her new home. This was the lowest she had ever felt in her life. She didn't have any motivation to get out of a routine that was being a housewife and felt blank. She felt like she didn't have anything going for her. She almost gave up.

After she had my older sister and she was old enough to be going to school, the teachers at the school recommended that my mum should do a computer course that was running there. She signed herself up and got stuck in but eventually had to drop out because family priorities were taking over.

A few years later, she had me (and yes that is baby me on the left in the first photo - talk about chubby cheeks!) and then a couple of more years past and she had my younger brother. When my brother was old enough to be going to school, my mum started to feel lonely and a bit bored at home. There wasn't much to be keeping her busy between the 9-3 when all the kids were at school. She got up one morning and thought:
"Don't give up. You can do this"
And so she did. At 32 years old, my mum decided to re enrol on different computing courses. She went to careers advisors to see what she could do to better herself and get a job. She settled on courses that were admin focussed. It involved maths, her favourite, and people skills, which she was happy doing because she got to meet new people.

She began volunteering as admin assistants at school, which she did for about three years. The school she was volunteering at saw her potential and finally offered her a job. This was her first real job and she was over the moon that she had finally got somewhere.

After working at the school for four years, she applied for a promotion and she worked so hard to get it. She didn't stop. She kept going.

"Always try for better"

That's what my mum always says to us. Currently, she is still working and goes on different courses to improve her skills and qualifications. She is very happy with her progress and how far she has come. She is motivated by her own actions because she doesn't want to go back to the position she was in before. She said that she is living her childhood dream of helping people.

Her life advice:
"Live for today, you don't know what tomorrow will bring you"
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And that is why my momma is so inspirational to me.

I have told her that I appreciate her but I feel like I don't tell her enough.
Happy birthday, mum. Thanks for always being there for me, motivating me, teaching me to work harder and become a better me. Thanks for inspiring me to always reach for the stars. 
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2 comments

  1. This is the sweetest post ever, and I just love looking at those pictures of you and your gorgeous mam! I am definitely taking inspiration from this post anyway, well done on you lovely blog too, I love it!! x

    adelelydia.blogspot.com

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    1. Thank you for your comment, Adele! How very sweet of you :) Glad it inspired you in some way!

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